Wednesday, March 20, 2013

{Wedding Planning 101} Children at Your Wedding

{Photo Credit:  DW Photography, Anahi Navarro Photography, Gary Guy Photographer}

One of the most common and controversial questions we get asked when planning weddings:  "Is it rude to not invite children to our wedding?"  Truth of the matter is NO, it's not rude. After all, it is YOUR wedding, so you get to invite whoever you want.

As in everything, though, while the answer may seem simple, truth of the matter is, the answer really is more complicated. We get it...kids are cute.  Kids make for some cute pictures, with their sweet smiles, contagious giggles and laughter and their carefree innocence.  Children make you smile and are like a ray of sunshine!  As cute and adorable as kids are, they also come with scheduled feeding/snack times.  Kids are on a sleep schedule, so when they are taken out of their schedule/element, they become unpredictable, irate and simply not their usual cute self, becoming a short-tempered, screaming and unhappy child.

{Photo Credit:  DW Photography}

If you don't invite children to your wedding, you will end up with many guests who are upset and offended.  You will receive calls with a myriad of opinionated reactions from family members and friends.  Aunt Barbara will be upset that you've excluded her four precious grandchildren.  If you do invite children, then you end up with a wedding that may resemble a playground! Your mom will note how the elegance and sophistication of your wedding will disappear with the presence of children.  What to do???

Just remember, it is YOUR wedding and this decision, as with all other aspects of your wedding, need to be made by you and your fiancĂ© alone. Easier said than done, right?  Take a moment, set aside everyone's expectations and opinions. What makes you and your fiance happy?

A Children Friendly Wedding
If you've decided to have children partake in your wedding and attend as guests, be prepared to make your wedding as accommodating for the little ones as you will for your adult guests.

Children are at their best in casual celebrations.  A black-tie or formal affair will just not be that appealing to them.  When was the last time you saw a kid happy to wear a suit and tie, or a perfect little dress with a bow in her hair and not complain and do everything humanly possible to rip off the bow or the suit?  Not to mention, in this formal ambiance, the kiddos will become restless and bored.

Now, we are not saying to plan your wedding around the comfort of children.  If you have your heart set on a black-tie affair, by all means, do it!  Make arrangements to have a private baby-sitter in a separate room, designed for all the children.  We've done this for many of our clients, and not only are the bride and groom happy as clams, but the parents are overjoyed they can still bring their kiddos {especially if traveling from afar} and still enjoy a night out!

Hiring the right professional sitter will ensure the children will be well taken care of, will be fed children friendly meals and partake in fun and interactive activities with other kids.  It's a win-win for everyone!


Talk to your caterer about designing some children's meals.  How about some mini sliders, mini grilled cheese, some mac and cheese cups, the list is endless!  Providing meals and activities to cater to the children will ensure they stay happy, comfortable, and most importantly...cute!

An "Adults Only" Wedding
You and your fiancĂ© have decided you want no children at your wedding.  After all, your reception isn't a place for minors when cocktails will be flowing throughout the night, the 7-piece band will be rockin' all night...really, not a place for kids.  What is the most graceful way to exclude children from your wedding?

Let's start with the addressing of wedding invitations.  Outer and inner envelopes must list only the names of the people invited:  Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, as opposed to The Doe Family.

The wedding invitation should also note in the Reception Card enclosure the reception is an "Adult Reception Only".  Having this noted will remove any doubts guests may have when receiving the invitation.  Again, while this may upset some guests or make them feel offended, be prepared to accept their regrets, as they may choose not to go to your wedding, or simply can't make arrangements to leave their child{ren}, especially if they are required to travel.

{Photo Credit:  Gary Guy Photographer}

Remember, there is no right or wrong answer.  Ultimately, it will be YOUR decision if you want to invite children in your wedding.  Don't let others dictate what you should/shouldn't do at your wedding.  Ultimately, remember to have fun at your wedding!

Do you plan on inviting or did you invite children to your wedding?   What arrangements did you make?  We'd love to hear from you!


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