Weddings: Who Pays For What?

Photo Credit:
Monkey Tree Photography (photos 1,4,5); Al Torres Photography (photos 2,3)

How many times have engaged couples asked themselves, who's going to pay for the wedding? Traditionally, the brides' family handles the majority of the cost, while the groom's family is responsible for a few minor details. Well, times have changed and it is no longer a question of who pays for what.

Many of today's couples have decided to take charge and pay for their own wedding. Why? Many reasons apply, but the number one reason is probably because they want the final say so in all the decision-making. Why would a bride want to struggle with her parents when choosing the wedding reception venue, the flowers, the cake, the food? The list can just go on and on. If you like to stick to tradition, well then I've provided you a detailed list of who pays for what:

THE BRIDE PAYS FOR:

• wedding ring for the groom
• gifts for the attendants
• accommodation for out-of-town attendants
• wedding gift for the groom
• wedding day lingerie
• bridesmaids' luncheon

THE GROOM PAYS FOR:

• bride's rings (including the engagement ring)
• honeymoon vacation
• wedding gift for the bride
• marriage license
• groomsmen gifts
• bride's bouquet
• corsages for mother of bride and mother of groom
• boutonnieres for men in wedding party
• ties and accessories for the men in the wedding party
• clergy person, judge or wedding officiant fee

THE GROOM'S FAMILY PAYS FOR:

• their attire
• rehearsal dinner

THE BRIDE'S FAMILY PAYS FOR:

• wedding planner
• engagement party and announcement
• wedding reception (including food, wedding cakes, chocolate fountain)
• bride's attire
• wedding invitations, announcements, thank you notes
• photographer
• videographer
• wedding ceremony costs
• bridesmaids and flower girls flowers and accessories
• ring bearers accessories
• transportation for bridal party from ceremony to reception
• all gratuities
• their attire

THE MAID OF HONOR PAYS FOR:

• wedding shower
• bachelorette party

THE BEST MAN PAYS FOR:

• bachelor party

THE WEDDING PARTY PAYS FOR:

• wedding attire
• wedding gifts to the newlyweds

This is your wedding, so don't feel obligated to follow certain rules or follow certain wedding ettiquette. I hear many people say that it's all about the bride, but I beg to differ. It's not just about the bride....it's about the couple. Both are in this together, so together, the decisions should be made!

Happy Planning!

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Brides vs Bridesmaids

Photo Credits (In Order of Appearance) : Ashley K Photography, 3D Video and Photo, Al Torres Photography

In the old days Bridesmaids served as decoys to protect the bride from the evil spirits. Nowadays, Bridesmaids are the ladies that support and assist the bride during her wedding planning process. Only problem is, how many brides really let their bridesmaids know what all it entails to be a bridesmaid?

I've always believed communication is KEY to EVERY relationship (love, friendship, business). Many times brides forget to give her bridesmaids to be a list of things they expect from them. Just the same, bridesmaids accept for many reasons: they can't/won't say "no" to their friend, they want the honor to stand by their friend on such an important day. While these are good reasons, they shouldn't be the only reasons for asking and accepting.

BRIDES:
Think about the following when considering asking your friends to stand with you:
- How close are your bridesmaids/maid or matrons of honor-to-be are they to you? In other words, is it a close relationship, or are they just friends?
- What exactly are you expecting from them as your bridesmaids/maid or matrons of honor? This is important to think about. Make a list and BE SURE to let them know what exactly are your expectations.
- Do you know if your friends are willing to commit to all your wedding-related functions? (i.e.: showers, vendor meetings, shopping)
- Are you willing to pay for their expenses (dress, shoes, hair/make-up, jewelry, gifts, etc.) If not, be sure to make them well aware of what they will be expected to spend.
- What point in their lives are your bridesmaids/maid or matrons of honor-to-be? Are they already married, single, divorced, in a relationship? These situations will definitely have an effect on how they respond to your wedding duties.

BRIDESMAIDS:
It is always a great honor to be asked for such an important role in the wedding, especially being asked to be a Maid or Matron of Honor. Question is, are you up for the challenge? Just hearing the title, makes you want to say YES! Just don't answer hastingly and think about a few things:
- The first question you need to ask the bride is: What is expected of me if I accept this role.
- As a bridesmaid, you are expecting to host wedding related functions such as showers and bachelorette parties.
- You will be expected to wear and purchase your dress, shoes, jewelry and any other items the bride asks you to. Keep in mind, the majority of the time, the dress (or at least the color) will be selected by HER, not you.
- Think about your current financial situation. Are you willing to take in these expenses and not complain about it?
- Will you have the time to commit to wedding-related functions and duties? (accompanying the bride to vendor meetings, shopping for dresses, etc.)

It is such an honor to be asked for such an important role and for that reason, it shouldn't be taken lightly. While each relationship is different, obviously every situation will be different, as well. Only the bride and her friends know the kind of relationship they have. The list doesn't even begin to cover all the questions involved, but this should certainly help in understanding what all is involved in asking and accepting such roles.

I hope that this will help the bride and bridesmaids-to-be in deciding for such an important role. I assure this will certainly avoid problems down the line is at least some of these pointers are followed. Remember, communication is KEY for a healthy relationship of all types!

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Got Chocolate???

Chocolate Fountains...still going strong!

Photo Credits (In order of appearance): A Day To Remember, Aimeezing Faces, A Day To Remember

I remember when I laid eyes on the first chocolate fountain, my initial thought was, "Wow, that is the best thing ever!" Well, I still think chocolate fountains are the best thing ever! Maybe because I'm a chocolate-holic!

Even though chocolate fountains started off as a trend for weddings and special events, it is still running strong. What makes chocolate fountains such a great hit? For many, it is just a great way to entertain guests. Who doesn't enjoy dipping strawberries, pretzels and the favorite...marshmallows into a cascade of chocolate?

By definition, a chocolate fountain is a device used to serve chocolate fondue. Fountains range in size from 19" tall, up to 50" tall, structured in the shape of a stepped cone, ranging from two to five tiers. The bottom basin is heated, allowing the chocolate to maintain in a liquid state and flow freely. From the basin, the chocolate is pulled into a center cylinder that is vertically transported to the top of the fountain via a corkscrew auger. As the chocolate reaches the crown of the fountain, it flows over the tiers, creating a chocolate waterfall.

A Day To Remember offers chocolate fountains in three different sizes...Mini, Medium and Large and in a variety of flavors, from white chocolate, milk or dark chocolate, and caramel! Be sure to give us a call for additional information!

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The History about "Something old, something blue..."

Photo Credit: Monkey-Tree Photography

Many times we all here the phrase, "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe." Question is, what does it all mean? Well here's a little Wedding History 101:

This good luck saying dates back to Victorian times and many brides try to arrange their wedding attire accordingly.

Something old represents the link with the bride's family and the past. Many brides choose to wear a piece of antique family jewelry or a mother's or grandmother's wedding gown.

Something new represents good fortune and success in the bride's new life. The wedding gown is often chosen as the new item.

Something borrowed is to remind the bride that friends and family will be there for her when help is needed. The borrowed object might be something such as a lace handkerchief.

Something blue is the symbol of faithfulness and loyalty. Often the blue item is the garter. A silver sixpence in her shoe is to wish the bride wealth.

Whether following old traditions, starting new ones or simply foregoing them all, remember...your wedding will be filled with the love and happiness you two share together, in company of all your family and friends!

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Top 10 Ways to Fire the Client From Hell

I came across this article and I truly related with a number of these situations. Happy reading!

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Article Credit: Inside CRM

Top 10 Ways to Fire the Client From Hell

How to tactfully rid your business of penny-penching, unreliable and abusive clients.

Clients are the lifeblood of any business. Without them, your venture simply doesn't exist. On the other hand, some clients are so bad that your business, not to mention your personal sanity, is better off without them. So what do you do when you have a client that pushes you to the brink? You fire them! Here's how to give 10 of the worst offenders the pink slip without burning bridges.
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1. The bargain shopper: As a general rule, the client who pays the least will expect the most. The words "I need this done cheap" should strike fear in your heart, not because of profit margins, but because this client will nickel-and-dime you within an inch of your life for extra work, support and other nuisances that were not in the original scope.

How to get out: This one's simple: Raise your rates, if only for this particular client. The bargain shopper will move on to the next firm that offers a better price, as he's concerned only with the bottom line, not the value of your work.

2. The client who can't make deadlines: This client wants you to set his project at top priority because he's on a tight schedule and needs to get something produced right away. You agree, assuming that you'll have all of the information you need to get it done quickly. Unfortunately, your client drops off the face of the earth, ignoring your requests for approvals and other correspondence until your previously agreed upon due date comes around. At this point, you're both blaming each other as the reason that the project's not done, and it's not pretty.

How to get out: Before this client makes you miss the deadlines of customers who can keep up with you, let him know that no, you can't deliver on your deadlines when he misses his. Push back his deadline and stick to it. Instead of setting a concrete date, make it contingent upon receipt of information, such as a certain number days from the signed approval date. Don't accept any future work from this client, as his habits are not likely to change. Instead, tell him that you're experiencing a high volume of work and offer to refer him to another firm.

3. The client with a not-so-small project: You get a call out of the blue from a new customer who wants you to complete a small, simple project. He thinks it should be easy and uncomplicated, so he's only willing to pay a small fee. You agree that this is fair, until you realize the client is going to make this small project a major pain with endless changes and additions that were not a part of the original budget.

How to get out: If you agreed to do a certain amount work for a particular price, deliver it and do a good job. But if this client pushes boundaries, clearly inform them that extra work will cost extra money. If they refuse to respect your rules, invoice them for any unpaid work and stop the project in its tracks. Give them what you've produced up to the point when you severed ties, but only if they've paid for it.

4. The one who's never satisfied: Even if you come in under budget and overdeliver, this client just isn't happy with your work. He may have something in his mind that he just can't communicate to you, and when you don't deliver this idea that lives in his head, he's disappointed.

How to get out: Ask the client to clearly describe or sketch out what he's looking for, or even send you an example. He may want a product that looks like his friend's, but he's afraid to say so. If you're already done with the project and you've done a great job, don't sweat it. Make it clear to the client, citing any agreements that you've made, that you conformed to the scope of the project and delivered exactly what he asked for. You don't want to have him bad-mouth you or stiff you on an invoice, so consider offering to do additional work on this project if he can be more clear with his desires. If he hires you for more projects after this one, you may want to tell him that your business has gone in a different direction.

5. The client who wants you to be something you're not: Some clients have a clear idea in their heads of what they'd like to see from your work. Often, this is good news, but if their specifics don't line up with the way you like to operate, you may end up butting heads.

How to get out: To reason with this client, you can explain why you prefer to do things the way you do. After all, you're the expert. If he simply doesn't understand or refuses to accept your methods, it's time to cut ties. Explain to him the problems that his requests create for you and let him down easy. If you can, refer him to a colleague or competitor that you know can deliver what he wants. A referral is key, because you don't want him to be unsatisfied and claim that you can't do your job.

6. The one who expects you to deliver more for the same price: This client just doesn't understand the concept of an estimate. You've laid out what is to be done and agreed to a fair price, but at every step of the way, this client has "just one more little thing" to add that may seem like nothing to him but in reality takes a lot more time and effort than you originally agreed to.

How to get out: When faced with a client who nickel-and-dimes you with extra work, there's only one way to fight back: Nickel-and-dime him with invoices. Of course, let him know it's coming before you do it. Tell him that your two-hour support call today was free, but any ongoing extraneous work will be billed at your standard hourly rate. If he tries to send work to you in the future, tell him you're too busy and refer him to a competitor that you feel like torturing.

7. The know-it-all: The know-it-all thinks he understands how to do your job because last weekend, his cousin showed him the basics of the computer program you use. Of course, he doesn't realize that he needs your expert skills to use this tool to do the things he really wants to do. He'll tell you exactly what to do and how to do it, turning you into a production house instead of letting you do what you do best.

How to get out: First of all, do your best to remove any references to your name or company on work you've done for this client. Why? Because he'll probably try to tinker around on his own and completely mess up your work in the process. Then, stop the project, get caught up on invoices and give him whatever you've done so far. He'll probably hand it off to his cousin to see if he can finish it.

8. The next-100-days client: This client doesn't pay until he's good and ready, or worse yet, until he's been paid by his client. For anyone running a business, this is just not acceptable. You have bills to pay, too!

How to get out: If it's worth your trouble, send this client to collections for any unpaid debts. That should send a pretty strong message. In any event, refuse to take on more projects until you're caught up. Either set up a strict payment schedule in the future or inform this client that you've moved in a different direction.

9. The one who wants your home phone number: If your client calls you after hours or on weekends to relay ideas or just check in with you, you have a problem on your hands. This client does not respect boundaries and is likely to expect round-the-clock service, no matter how frivolous the request.

How to get out: Unless it's a true emergency, don't field calls from this client when you're not available. If for some reason you end up in a conversation with him outside of your normal working hours, stop him firmly but politely before he can even start. Offer to pick up the call again on the next business day, then do it. This client really just wants to know that you're there for him, so be there, but do it on your terms. If he continues to push his way into your personal time, let him know that you're raising your rates, astronomically of course, to make up for the high cost of maintaining your relationship. The cost to continue working with you will prove to be too high, and he'll bother someone else. Or, you'll make loads of money.

10. The one with 100 lawyers: This client is always threatening to sue you for some reason or another. That time you made a typo, even though it was directly copied from the material he gave you? He's going to sue you for that. You were two days late on your deadline because he dragged his feet getting you what you needed? He wants you to discount your invoice by 50 percent, or he'll get a lawyer involved.

How to get out: This abusive client is bad news and a major pain. You don't want to actually go to court with him, because even if you win, it looks bad to other clients who may find out, and he'll definitely bad-mouth you to everyone he knows, win or lose. He's almost certainly all talk, but it's irresponsible to test him to find out if he can back it up. As much as it may drive you crazy to give in to his threats, do what he wants, within good reason of course, then slowly back away. Given that he's argumentative, it's probably not a good idea to let him know exactly why you're breaking it off, so just tell him that you're moving your operations to Yemen.
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As always, your comments are always welcome!

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