Photo Credits (In Order of Appearance) : Ashley K Photography, 3D Video and Photo, Al Torres PhotographyIn the old days Bridesmaids served as decoys to protect the bride from the evil spirits. Nowadays, Bridesmaids are the ladies that support and assist the bride during her wedding planning process. Only problem is, how many brides really let their bridesmaids know what all it entails to be a bridesmaid?
I've always believed communication is KEY to EVERY relationship (love, friendship, business). Many times brides forget to give her bridesmaids to be a list of things they expect from them. Just the same, bridesmaids accept for many reasons: they can't/won't say "no" to their friend, they want the honor to stand by their friend on such an important day. While these are good reasons, they shouldn't be the only reasons for asking and accepting.
BRIDES:
Think about the following when considering asking your friends to stand with you:
- How close are your bridesmaids/maid or matrons of honor-to-be are they to you? In other words, is it a close relationship, or are they just friends?
- What exactly are you expecting from them as your bridesmaids/maid or matrons of honor? This is important to think about. Make a list and BE SURE to let them know what exactly are your expectations.
- Do you know if your friends are willing to commit to all your wedding-related functions? (i.e.: showers, vendor meetings, shopping)
- Are you willing to pay for their expenses (dress, shoes, hair/make-up, jewelry, gifts, etc.) If not, be sure to make them well aware of what they will be expected to spend.
- What point in their lives are your bridesmaids/maid or matrons of honor-to-be? Are they already married, single, divorced, in a relationship? These situations will definitely have an effect on how they respond to your wedding duties.
BRIDESMAIDS:
It is always a great honor to be asked for such an important role in the wedding, especially being asked to be a Maid or Matron of Honor. Question is, are you up for the challenge? Just hearing the title, makes you want to say YES! Just don't answer hastingly and think about a few things:
- The first question you need to ask the bride is: What is expected of me if I accept this role.
- As a bridesmaid, you are expecting to host wedding related functions such as showers and bachelorette parties.
- You will be expected to wear and purchase your dress, shoes, jewelry and any other items the bride asks you to. Keep in mind, the majority of the time, the dress (or at least the color) will be selected by HER, not you.
- Think about your current financial situation. Are you willing to take in these expenses and not complain about it?
- Will you have the time to commit to wedding-related functions and duties? (accompanying the bride to vendor meetings, shopping for dresses, etc.)
It is such an honor to be asked for such an important role and for that reason, it shouldn't be taken lightly. While each relationship is different, obviously every situation will be different, as well. Only the bride and her friends know the kind of relationship they have. The list doesn't even begin to cover all the questions involved, but this should certainly help in understanding what all is involved in asking and accepting such roles.
I hope that this will help the bride and bridesmaids-to-be in deciding for such an important role. I assure this will certainly avoid problems down the line is at least some of these pointers are followed. Remember, communication is KEY for a healthy relationship of all types!
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